The next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a
commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs
underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent
to
his sister. She then sent it to Laughline, who was sponsoring a "worst job
experience" contest. Needless to say, she won.
____________________________________________
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few
technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the
sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year, the
water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of **** sucks the
water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then
pumps it
down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with
no
complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with
warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch.
So,of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but
the damage
was done.
In agony, I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked
up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair
on
my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my ass
was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he and five other divers
were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was
instructed to make 3 agonizing in water decompression stops totaling 35
minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down
his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ass as
soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't
****
for two days because my ******* was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

olryt DIGIDOG!!!:D :D :D

Everytime I feel depressed and tired from a "bad" day's work, I can't help but remember this story.... It really makes my day! :D

Time to revive a good thread :D

Insurance Claim (author unknown)

I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number three of the accident reporting form, I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more and I trust that the following details are sufficient:

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at the ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured scull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground - and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel, slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to move, and watching the barrel six stories above - I again lost my presence of mind.

I let go of the rope!

OJ88,

Thanks, I had a good laugh with your post below... :D

Man oh man ... those two funny ones are KABAG to my belly..... :O :D :O

astig... more than 3 years na to... pero lakas ng tawa ko...